I remember…

I remember.

I remember that day.

So vividly as if it were yesterday.

Seared on my soul, like a wild brush fire.

 

I remember.

Exactly what happened step-by-step.

Moment by moment.

As if those moments were only yesterday.

 

I remember.

The unbelief.

The shock.

The darkness.

 

I remember not knowing what to do.

 

Shaking and trembling.

 

I remember.

The tears, the screams.

The cars sitting in traffic.

Waiting for their turn at the lights

all the while, I felt like my life had just ended.

 

I was in distress, my ship was sinking

I was drowning

but yet no one heard my mayday call.

 

I remember.

It was the end of a dream.

It was the end of my life.

It would change the very meaning of who I was.

 

I remember begging and pleading with God.

Saying, “No” this can’t be true, this can’t be possible.

How could this be happening.

Please say this is NOT happening.

 

I remember…

in one brief moment,

 

There went my hopes and my dreams.

There went all I had ever wanted in this life.

And all for no reason. All without cause. All without sense.

And in its place, nothingness.

 

I remember that I could not see beyond,

to what today might hold.

That in that pain, something more and greater would arise.

Something more beautiful than had been there before.

 

I remember death that day.

But, today, I see new beginnings.

A new life.

 

I remember feeling resentful, angry, and intensely lonely.

I remember those feelings.

Feelings as if they were just felt a moment before.

 

Until now, here I stand, having lived through each moment,

since that moment,

standing before you with grace and fully alive.

 

Emerging from the dark side of the soul.

 

Now, I know…

I have become what I have meant to be in this world

because of this moment.

We are Holy ground.

Like a steeled fortress

penetrated by the opposing forces,

my protective distances collapse.

 

Like a sacred temple,

my deep inner longings

and soul

live,

and yet you have entered.

 

Your presence and life have become my ground.

My soul and desires have become your sanctuary.

 

We walk together with great courage

and

with

vulnerability.

 

The armors of protection have collapsed.

We are confidantes

of the soul.

 

No longer fighting,

we have fused,

our battles have ceased.

 

We are Holy ground

in a singular

embrace.

 

 

I love you, I love you, I love you

I love you, I love you, I love you.

There is no explanation for that.

No desire to know more about

the how or the

why.

 

I just do.

 

I love you, I love you, I love you.

I need not explain why you

and

I

are destined to be here.

It is not our calling

to explain the intricacies

of

what we know not.

 

We just are.

 

I love you, I love you, I love you.

There is no other place

that we belong

than in our secret place.

Only our souls can answer why.

Otherwise we risk

the destruction of our

mysterious

and

lyrical

presence.

 

We are called

only to trust that knowing.

 

I love you, I love you, I love you.

 

That is enough.

 

 

 

I fight you, I fight you.

I fight you, I fight you…

you lurk in deep corners.

You are a demon

until I am afraid no more

and then

I have

slain you.

 

I fight you, I fight you…

in a battle that is only seen

from within.

You are a demon

until I wrestle no more

and then

when we cease

I have found

my soul.

 

I fight you, I fight you…

until we fight no more.

I cast aside my fears,

and I accept the

loss and change.

 

And, instead we become friends,

and you bless me, and bless me

with

the gifts of

healing and freedom.

 

You haunt me no more.

 

What did I really see today?

What did I really see today?

 

I saw a lonely man seeking company.

I saw an immigrant family huddled in a car waiting.

I saw an older couple in the twilight of their life.

I saw grandparents weeping silently for the loss of their grandson.

I saw roadside memorials marking those who have past and those that remain.

I saw a man reach out to gently touch the hand of the woman he loves.

I saw a beautiful radiant sky caressing a cold earth.

 

What did I really see today?

I saw the face of God in every place that I looked.

I saw heaven on Earth.

 

My heart leapt at each and every story

I envision those faces held.

 

My heart leapt at each and every story

my soul felt as it reached out into the beyond.

 

My heart leapt at each and every story

as I softly blessed them in their travels.

 

What did I really see today?

 

I realized for one moment today that my heart hung empty.  Not for them but for me.  In a world that cares little for each other, I care so much for the unknown that is karmically exhausts me.  I love beyond reason everyone and everything.  I pray that someone silently sees me, and their heart leaps for my tired and weary soul.  I pray…

I am not your possession​

I am not your possession.

You cannot own me.

I am not a book, a company, an idea, or even money.

I am not yours to have.

 

Look away with that eye of greed.

Glance it elsewhere

at someone or something

that glances back.

You cannot look me in the eye.

 

Let me be

in my innocence of desire.

You seek

to poison and impoverish me.

 

I am not your possession.

You cannot own me.

I am not a car, a boat, a place, or even a house.

I am not yours to have.

 

There, over there.

The one that dares

to look me in the eye.

To peer deep

and sees

my secret beauty

hidden deep beneath.

 

Let me be

with truth, courage, and expectation.

To see me in true light.

Who seeks

to know my nature, destiny,

and my inborn divinity.

 

Full of invitation, possibility, and depth.

 

But, not you.  No, not you.

 

I am not your possession.

 

 

I hunger deeply for less

I hunger deeply for less.

To feel what space feels like

and nothing else.

 

I hunger deeply for less.

To clear away

what is banal and exterior.

 

 

I hunger deeply for less.

To want for nothing

for all I have is welled up.

 

I hunger deeply for less.

To be nothing in a world that

desperately seeks to be

everything.

 

I hunger deeply for less.

To be in solitude in a world

centered on

greed and corruption,

lies and deceit.

 

I hunger deeply for less.

To strip away all that does not

matter even though

consumerism says that it does.

 

I hunger deeply for less.

To lay my soul down

naked to be illuminated

by the natural light of life.

 

I hunger deeply for less.

To lie silently with myself

and to know all that I need to know

lies deep hidden inside

waiting to be excavated.

 

I hunger deeply for less.

To love others and to be loved

in a world that lacks

empathy and compassion.

 

I hunger deeply for less.

To become a mystic in

the modern world.

 

I hunger deeply for less.