I remember…

I remember.

I remember that day.

So vividly as if it were yesterday.

Seared on my soul, like a wild brush fire.


I remember.

Exactly what happened step-by-step.

Moment by moment.

As if those moments were only yesterday.


I remember.

The unbelief.

The shock.

The darkness.


I remember not knowing what to do.


Shaking and trembling.


I remember.

The tears, the screams.

The cars sitting in traffic.

Waiting for their turn at the lights

all the while, I felt like my life had just ended.


I was in distress, my ship was sinking

I was drowning

but yet no one heard my mayday call.


I remember.

It was the end of a dream.

It was the end of my life.

It would change the very meaning of who I was.


I remember begging and pleading with God.

Saying, “No” this can’t be true, this can’t be possible.

How could this be happening.

Please say this is NOT happening.


I remember…

in one brief moment,


There went my hopes and my dreams.

There went all I had ever wanted in this life.

And all for no reason. All without cause. All without sense.

And in its place, nothingness.


I remember that I could not see beyond,

to what today might hold.

That in that pain, something more and greater would arise.

Something more beautiful than had been there before.


I remember death that day.

But, today, I see new beginnings.

A new life.


I remember feeling resentful, angry, and intensely lonely.

I remember those feelings.

Feelings as if they were just felt a moment before.


Until now, here I stand, having lived through each moment,

since that moment,

standing before you with grace and fully alive.


Emerging from the dark side of the soul.


Now, I know…

I have become what I have meant to be in this world

because of this moment.

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