On my knees…

I was brought to my knees this morning.

Selfish pity did it.

Loneliness did it.

Wanting things in my life at my time exactly my way did it.

It was a humbling experience to see my error staring me in the face.

I dropped to my knees in tears for what I had done.

I cried out to God to help me.  And if His will was different from mine, then it must be.

We do things and act out from a selfish viewpoint.

Selfish!

It brought me to my knees.

In apology and sorrow not just to the person I offended.

But, to the God that I failed to listen to when His voice came to my ear with what I should have done.

How many times in our life does our will, our way, cause us to falter and to hurt and to disobey.

God, I apologize for what I have done.  Yet, again thinking that I know best, not listening to you, and doing my own thing.

In essence, I am like a child in this new-found spirituality…constantly testing the limits, challenging those who know and want what is best, and dropping to my knees in utter tears.

One thing is for sure, I feel Him now.

He has not left me alone, nor has He forsaken me, even though I did not listen to his will.

He has gently taken my hand, and said, “come and follow…listen and hear…be at peace.”

Onto the next minute of this very day…the next moment, the only moment I have been truly given.

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