Abstinence to me…

“If I choose an abstinence that lets me ‘feed the dragon,’ the ‘dragon’ will get stronger…I can remind myself that I’m not powerful enough to fool my compulsion.”

My food sponsor told me that I needed to cut out all sugars both real and artificial.

I am on my second full week of doing this now and this is the most difficult thing I have had to endure.

Not only that, but my six meals have been reduced down to three.

What was she really thinking?

I guess if I picked my own abstinence, I would keep feeding that dragon and the dragon would get stronger.

This is certainly a healthier more purer way to live, but, the compulsion and the urge to say “go ahead have a low cal ice cream cone, it won’t hurt” continues to play in my head.

Feeding the dragon, I suppose left to my own devices, I would continue to do that and wonder why I compulsively over ate.  It is true, I am not powerful enough to beat this food compulsion, it has me beat most of the time.

7 thoughts on “Abstinence to me…

  1. I am doing the weight watchers thing. I have lost 60+ pounds. I have diabetes. These things taken together mean that I do not eat everything in site anymore. However, how are you going to sustain a life without sugar? Even as a diabetic, I get to have some sugar. You know the whole idea of moderation. You are a lot stronger than me if you can go without sugar. No fruit, No bread, No pasta would equal no life to me. So to you I say bravo… Anything that will help make you healthier is the way to go. Good luck on your journey.

  2. OA Girl! says:

    I should say I allow myself natural sugar in the form of fruit…bread is ezekial with no sugar…and never pasta…It is odd how when you start reading labels, almost everything has that SUGAR hidden in the label somewhere, somehow. She feels that if I give myself the taste of that sweetness, I will want to compulsively overeat. It sets off the “dragon”….I do have fats now…like butter and nuts and mayo,… that I once deprived myself of…so that is a trade off, I guess 🙂

  3. Cutting out all sugars is a good place to start. Abstinence is about a lot more than just food, but we have to begin somewhere, and the best place I can think of is what you are doing right now.

    The compulsion may continue to rear its ugly head for the rest of our lives. That’s why we choose to do it one day at a time. And yes, your HP is the way to deal with that, sometimes one second at a time. You already have such a wonderful relationship there that I think that will be easy for you to remember to do.

    Nothing will ever taste better than abstinence feels. Really!

    I’m glad you found a food sponsor. Do you have a step sponsor too? (Not volunteering, just curious.)

    I wish for you to have all the promises fulfilled in you!

    lilly~ coe

  4. OA Girl! says:

    Yes, I have been in OA for six months now and just got a food sponsor. It was probably because I truly wanted to keep doing what I WANTED to do!

    Yes, I am glad I have a food sponsor, but, I am in DESPERATE need of a step sponsor because that is where the healing is at!

  5. Six months is great!

    You are so right! There is so much healing in the steps. There are many who say you cannot work the steps until you are abstinent. The reason they say it is because when you are abstinent, your feelings start bubbling up to the surface, or, like in my case, they come up like a geyser.

    I hope you find your step sponsor soon! Pay attention to what people talk about in meetings, and pick one that has what you want, be that serenity, happiness, abstinence, etc. There are some online at the different OA websites, but I think for the steps, having a loving sponsor you can tell your deepest feelings to f2f is so beneficial. I still have a very deep bond with my first sponsor. I have deep bonds with the ones I added later too, but my first one is definitely the deepest. She heard all my worst stuff, and still loved me. (They all do, but somehow that first one is so new to some of us.)

    Have yourself a wonderful, abstinent day!

    lilly~ COE

  6. Ann Kirkland says:

    I am so glad that I have found your blog. I started in OA the end of May and had been searching for a blog of anyone that may relate to food like I do! It is good stuff so keep writing 🙂 And you’ll be in my prayers for healing and abstinence!

    • OA Girl! says:

      There are so many of us out there…OA is a blessing to me! And I so grateful for the work that it is doing in my life. You hang in there too!

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