Inevitably I gain control of my food, to lose it all in a moment of intense emotion whether good or bad, happy or sad.
The weight peels off and always at some point seems to come on again.
All it takes is one moment and then I begin obsessing about food and I go on the “hunt” or the “prowl” until I satisfy this urge to binge. Once the binge begins, it is hard to stop. Sometimes, I would gain control in an hour, a day, a week, or even weeks. This cycle repeats itself year after year, time after time and is so predictable.
It all starts with an emotion, then the obsession, then the binge, oftentimes, consuming mass quantities after many stops to find food.
Eventually the brake comes on after the shame sets in, and then the pendulum begins to swing the other way and I lose weight again.